Intellectualizing Emotions

Our mind tends to want the answers to why we are feeling a specific emotion and after analyzing from all perspectives we sometimes figure it out, sometimes not, but we think that it’s over and done with. Often, we believe that figuring out the root of the emotion should make the emotion itself go away forgetting that emotions are feeling frequencies. They cannot be rationalized away.

Intellectualizing emotions is a form of short-term spiritual bypass which may not always be a conscious decision. We sometimes use our intelligence to identify a possible reason for emotion to avoid feeling it, this is a type of defense against vulnerability. That defense is the subconscious belief to avoid feeling is to avoid appearing weak; That if we don’t break down, then we ‘win’.  This false sense of protection can become a major limiting factor in your personal growth.

Thinking: A defense against Vulnerability

The protective defense was born from a younger version of yourself who believed that emotions were better left suppressed and hidden. It is learnt behaviour from society and parents, who themselves were taught that strength meant you don’t cry or that the only acceptable emotion to express was anger.

Emotional energy is held in the body, and it is the mind that creates the stories about them. It is possible for emotions to be felt and released without being tied to a specific story. By staying analytical, you temporarily suppress your emotions; To attempt to get your attention, those emotions will return even stronger the next time.

A reminder, healing happens not only through understanding but through releasing stagnant energy, in this case feeling the emotions. Allowing yourself to express them requires you to surrender control. Growth and transformation require the old to die, which in turn creates space for the new.

I was recently triggered by someone else’s progress. Jealousy is not an emotion I am familiar with. So, when it surfaced, my intellectual side immediately began to rationalize all the possible reasons for the discomfort and all the reasons I shouldn’t be feeling any negative emotion. The cycle of straining to feel better and move past the emotion lasted for the better part of a week. I even had an emotional release that wasn’t mentally attributed to the trigger but was the body releasing some of the emotional energy.

Emotional Expression: Feel to Transmute

It was only when I gave the negative emotion a voice, did it finally abate. I allowed myself into a space that voiced everything the emotion was trying to convey. It said it was angry that this person’s progress happened before mine and angry that this person even had the power to upset me at all. It said it was sad that in comparison my life looked like little to no progress, especially in the area where it happened for this person. It said it was worried that it meant I wasn’t worthy. It was a painful realization that there were parts of me that still felt as if I was in competition was someone else’s path, as if was stuck and unworthy.

Logically I know none of those things are true and in trying to rationalize before I allowed the emotion to speak, I was bypassing the individual lessons it was trying to teach. When I fully allowed myself to express my jealousy, I was finally able to break the loop and heal those parts myself that needed my attention.

You can consciously, logically, understand something to be true. But you won’t know it’s truth until you experience it for yourself, that includes emotions, especially negative ones. So, allow yourself to scream and cry to release what wants to be expressed then learn what it's trying to teach.

As always courage is required. It’s a brave thing to allow yourself space for negative emotional energy to surface, and it’s often the easiest way to transmute it.