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Receiving

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Those gentle-hearted among us tend to be givers by nature. They give their time, attention, energy, love and physical possessions without a second thought. Sometimes long before they recognize the one-sidedness of the situation. Then they feel forced to build healthy boundaries, and that process can create feelings of guilt, as though they aren’t being their true selves if they don’t give.


Giving has been associated with kindness and while this is true, the concept has been exaggerated. People have tied it to their self-worth, meaning that if they don’t give then they are not kind, therefore they are doing something wrong. A reminder that gifts and kindness appear different depending on the situation. It can appear as a difficult decision, walking away, setting boundaries, etc. If you do not give to yourself first, how could you expect others to give to you?


A true gift and kindness to the taker in a situation is to enforce boundaries that allow them to step into empathy. While most takers have been known to do it intentionally, many do not know they have overstepped a boundary until they are shown. By enforcing and reclaiming your energy you teach the taker not only awareness but give them the opportunity to show up for you as you do for them.


"Safe" behind the wall
"Safe" behind the wall

Perhaps the most significant trait givers have is their struggle to receive. Many are gifted compliments, attention, energy, and physical possessions but struggle to receive them in their hearts. They refuse the acknowledgement of how others value them. Givers can be slaves to their automatic responses which tend to be outright refusal, or general resistance to accepting.


Resistance can cause the physical manifestation of abundance to halt. A reminder, all gifts, and compliments are indeed the physical manifestation of the energy of abundance, and by refusing them, the flow is stopped. It tells the universe you feel undeserving, and you do not want to be honored in that way.


The person gifting you is doing it from the heart, thought and action are involved. The pleasure you get from the full receptivity of your gift is the same pleasure you steal from others when you don’t fully accept theirs. Though some people give with a sense of obligation, it doesn’t diminish the fact that the gift was given. Intention and effort are what the gift symbolizes and that is the most important factor to receive.


Recently I had a profound realization around my ability to receive. I received love as deeply as I was able to in my relationship, though there was still some resistance to my partner’s specific brand of love that just couldn’t find its way to my heart. A deep and honest conversation allowed me to notice the wall around my heart that blocked my ability to receive. It wasn’t my partner’s fault; it was my own programming and filter, based on old experiences, that viewed my partner’s actions as somehow coming from a place that wasn’t the heart.


Receiving the gift of Love
Receiving the gift of Love

In truth it was me that didn’t accept that this was how my partner’s love was presented. It didn’t match the world’s example of romantic love with material gifts and public displays of affection. It was displayed in gentler and more sincere ways, in consideration and true acceptance of all versions of me.


In the end, it was me who was judging myself as less deserving of such real love. I didn’t accept and instead closed myself off from truly receiving the gift that was right in front of me. A friend said it perfectly, truth feels like peace in the body. Once I admitted and acknowledged my struggles with receiving, my mind and body finally experienced a peace I didn’t know I didn’t already have.


As always courage is required. While the path of growth and enlightenment is not easy it is 1000% worth it. Acknowledging, and accepting your less than savory behavior patterns is the first step toward true peace. It opens the door for honest receptivity.

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