Triggers: An Instrument of Growth

When you are triggered, you experience it in the body first with a tightening of your chest or stomach, shortness of breath, sweating, fuzzy thoughts, and lumps in your throat; All happening at once as though time has slowed down.

Or sometimes it can be experienced as pure fire, a raw all-consuming rage. A sudden burst of false power where your inhibitions drop, and you feel invincible. This version often leads to confrontation or even violence. What feels like strength— is actually unstable and, in truth, dangerous. Not just for others—but especially for you.

Triggers exist to bring awareness to something unhealed still living in your subconscious, and when used correctly become useful tools. A trigger isn’t the source of the pain. It’s the thing that sets it off. Like pulling a pin – but the emotional ammunition and fire power was already there.

Triggered: The Surge of the Unhealed

That’s why, when you’re triggered, the first thing is to pause. Just stop for a moment and breathe. Ask yourself: What about this is actually upsetting me? Why is this person’s opinion or behaviour having such a big effect on me?

Because the real power comes when you bring it back to yourself. When you stop making it about them and start listening to the part of you that’s activated.

Let’s say someone pretended to be a friend - but as soon as you didn’t meet their expectations, they turned cold, rude, and passive aggressive. Even began emotionally bullying you. That kind of thing can shake you, no matter your age or how much you’ve healed.

The trigger in a situation like that might be rejection. Especially if you’ve learned that being ‘nice’ is how you stay safe. Maybe there’s a part of you that believes if you stop being nice, you’ll be seen as mean—and in your mind, mean people deserve to be pushed away.

That’s how outdated programming sticks around. It hides in the subconscious and repeats itself, over and over, until it’s seen and loved enough to be released.

Standing up for yourself is not mean. You don’t owe niceness to people who mistreat you. Why keep trying to be on someone’s “good side” when they’ve decided to keep you small?

That kind of person will always try to keep you dancing on eggshells, trying to win their approval. But at some point, you’ve got to decide: Enough! I’m done entertaining people who are not meant to walk this path with me.

Their behavior is a reflection of them—not you. And remember, it takes two to tango. If you keep feeding the situation your energy, it will only keep growing.

But once you really understand that you’re not for everyone—and you’re not meant to be—you’ll feel something shift inside. Peace. Release. Autonomy.

Then, the next time a similar trigger shows up, you’ll notice it sooner. You’ll catch yourself. You’ll breathe. You’ll choose differently. That’s where your power is.

Healed: A Moment of Integration

Triggers are not to be feared. They can’t be avoided, even if you try. They’re soul signals designed by your Higher Self to guide your growth. When you remember that, it won’t matter what form the trigger takes—you’ll know it’s a doorway. An invitation for deeper self-understanding.

As always courage is required. This is no easy feat, especially the first time you meet the trigger this way. Fear is a natural response to the unknown and may tell you you’re doing something wrong, that it’s unsafe, that something is going to fall apart.  Remember, the opposite of fear is not certainty—it’s truth. Fear lies. Your truth sets you free.

So, when the trigger comes, pause, feel your body. Let the sensations rise and move through you. Ask yourself what you’re feeling and why. Then let your adult self hold space for your younger self—who’s just trying to keep you safe.

This is how the cycle ends. With compassion, curiosity, and choice.